Fear of Living Normal
During this time of my Life I was again trying to live a normal life, but I was determined much more this time and I had a greater understanding of the Will of God. I was drug free and obedient as I could possibly be at this time. I had committed my Life back to the Trust of God and I and my wife where doing much better in the spirit. My wife was so much happier and I had found, serenity. Not only was I reading and listening to God’s Word, I was beginning to do God’s Word in my life. I thought I had all of my spiritual Armour about my body, but that devil almost found a gap within my helmet of Salvation. He tried to sow the evil seeds into my mind and cause great discord in our life. He knew that he just couldn’t come and knock on my door and say, “We’re here! Its time to party! Lets us come in and we will give you your hearts desire and after that, I will give you a tour of Hell. Are you ready to ride?” That devil knew he couldn’t buffet me with my thorns of the flesh at this time, because he knew that I was not going to fall for those devices. So, what does the this devil try to do?
He tries to get into my mind and plant discord among my wife and I. He knows that my wife is flesh of my flesh and bones of my bones and he would try anything to break that which God had given us apart. I’ve always been somewhat fearful of this and that fear I held deep within my heart. This type of fear almost cause my Life, no kidding. Why would this fear almost cause my life? It was this; In my past, if I knew that Satan was trying to pull my wife and I apart, I would be quick to give up trying to live a normal life and go back to my dead life. What!!? I would had much rather to do drugs and stay drunk and not go to church and not live a good life, than to loose my wife. So, this fear of loosing my wife was a fear that I did not want to face. I had already been through 1 divorce and it wasn’t good and I just knew I wouldn’t survive through another. I do know this with a greater confidence; Those things that I hide deep in my heart, are not because I want to save them. It’s because I fear them, and I just don’t want to face them. I also know that these fears will lead to much more worse things, such as anger, resentments and bitterness. So, that devil knew if he could cause discord among us, then our prayers would had been hindered. Later it was possible that we may had separated and my wife and I would had been miserable and possibly gave up or worse. That devil, Satan, is spiritual and he has a soul and he has no flesh. It is in the spiritual man that he will try to enter.
Now, let me just clear this up real quickly. I said that Satan has no flesh and can only enter the mind to sow deceit, but I will also say that Satan can buffet a man by his flesh, such as a man’s thorns. I believe totally on this one fact and be careful my friend and be patient. Satan has been given a lot of credit for things of this world, but there is one thing he want get no credit from me about which is, my flesh. I have been told many times that Satan gave a man cancer or Satan killed that man in a wreck or Satan did this or that. Satan has no power to give or take Life. It isn’t Satan that is killing mankind, it is the sinful nature of mankind that is killing mankind. Today, I can say this with honesty; The only fear that I fear today, is that of my flesh, which is, my self will or sinful nature. “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you
There was a past President of the United States of America that once said to the Nation, “The only fear we have, is fear itself.” There was a man that told me once this, “The things we do in this life are not the things we regret, it’s the things in life we don’t do, that we regret.” My friend, today we can sit and do nothing about something, but until we do something about nothing, we have only done nothing.” My friend, “The things we hide deep within our heart, are not because we want to save them, it’s because we fear them and do not want to face them.”

Today I can say this my friend with honesty, “The only fear I have today are not the things of this world, it is of myself.” Today, I also know with confidence that there are differences in the word fear. Fear can be define in two different ways. First- Fear can be defined as something awful, bad, harmful and dangerous in a man’s life.

Second- Fear can be defined as reverence to the Almighty God or an authority of supremacy, such as a Judge of the courts. In the Holy Book of Matthew chapter 10, verse 28 it is written, “And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in Hell.” In the Holy Book of 1 John chapter 4 clearly lay out the perfection of the Love of God for mankind. In the 8-9 verses and the of this chapter it is written, “He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love. In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him.” And the18th verse it is written, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.” Please read the Book of 1 John entirely sometime soon and it will give you a much clearer look into the Love of God.
The Apathetical Man
Gregory Martin McLeod
Readersmagnet Authors Club 03152019